LIFE BEFORE FACEBOOK – A Short Dialogue

Two strangers out on the street only weeks before Facebook was invented.

ROB
Hello? ANYONE?

BERT
You okay?

ROB
I’ve taken a picture of my baby every day since she was born!

BERT
And?

ROB
Only my immediate family are interested.

BERT
That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

ROB
I need more! I need everyone to understand how brilliant my kid is.

BERT
There are more important things to tell the world – I JUST GOT MY NEW MODELLING SHOTS DONE AND THEN THREE DAYS LAT—

ROB
Why are you shouting?

BERT
THREE DAYS LATER I GOT CAST IN A COMMERCIAL FOR TINNED TROUT. I HAVE PICTURES OF ME ON SET!

ROB
Show them to your family.

BERT
I NEED MORE! I NEED AN AUDIENCE.

ROB
You have an audience, I’m sure many hundreds will be watching the trout thing.

BERT
Yes but the people I went to school with will have NO IDEA.

ROB
So what?

BERT
You don’t wish your school friends knew you had a baby?

ROB
You think they’d like my pictures?

BERT
I’m sure if you could get everyone together in one place where you could show them pictures every day, they’d like them, and then they could stare at your baby all day long.

ROB
That would be great.

BERT
It really wouldn’t.

ROB
No.

BERT
You wanna get lunch over by that oh my god is that a SALAD?

ROB
What?

BERT
A salad.

ROB
TAKE A PICTURE.

BERT
Why?

ROB
I keep having this irrepressible urge to take pictures of the healthy foods I eat but I don’t know why.

BERT
Me too!

ROB
HELLO EVERYONE I JUST TOOK A PICTURE OF SOME CABBAGE.

BERT
I don’t think they’re paying attention.

ROB
They seem to be living their lives. They haven’t looked down once.

BERT
What’s wrong with these people?

.END.

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